i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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