I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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