oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
