I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
