Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
