She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My ass is underappreciated
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
