Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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