Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
