she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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