I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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