Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
