You're my little dorito
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
