4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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