"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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