I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
