I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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