I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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