You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
