After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
