He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Your penis caused this!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
