Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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