Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
