Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
