Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
