Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
