I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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