Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
