we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
