if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
