btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
