Fuck appropriateness.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
