Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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