I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
