More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
