went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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