I heard we made out
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
