I wish I only lived at night.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
