You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you didnt know i had herpes?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
