Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
