Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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