I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
