if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well I just put wine in my tea
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
