the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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