haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
