Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
