Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
