Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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