it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
