piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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