Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
