How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
